I love reflecting when I am closest to the clouds, where the blue sky drowns out my fears and the birds songs add rhythm to my words. So I am on the highest floor in my home staring out the window for guidance as I start my reflection on 2016.
I want to start by defining the year with a single word but it’s difficult to compact 365 days into just one word. Life would always be marked with peaks and falls, but I’ve seen that generally the good times outweigh the bad. The year started out with me determined to do more creative things, and put my creativity out there. So, I enrolled and got accepted onto the BFI Film Academy, which led to my script being chosen and developed into a film that was played at Focus Film Festival. This also led to me being accepted on another course with the BFI that focused primarily on screenwriting. As I sat on the train alone to Newcastle, I thought, imagine where else my words could take me. I also started the year determined to get better grades in my A-levels, especially in English Literature which I did end up getting an A in.
I started the year a very worrisome girl, who had fears of who she may become but I am ending the year with confidence in the work the Lord is doing within me. I have power resting within me whenever I am in battle because I am the daughter of a King. I’m ending the year in peace knowing that I am on the periphery of a full awakening. When the Lord renews me, my limbs would stretch as far as the horizon, like a new born out of the womb. I am growing comfortable in my own skin and I no longer have visions of life behind my neighbour’s fence.
I am grateful for the progress LAMBB has made and I am confident in the new direction we have decided on. I am grateful for actual taking a gap year because there was a time when it was just a mere thought. Being on a gap year has taught me so much already, it has wiped away the childlike comfort of school and pushed me to the edge of the earth where people told me who I should be. Yet I realised that I can run so far from their misconceptions of me and the box they try to tame me in. I realised that the world is governed by ideas, and the iPhone that we marvel over every time a new edition drops was once an idea in one man’s head. Ideas and dreams matter, nobody can tell me otherwise.
The way I look at life now is it is up to me. This year I discovered that we have more power than we have been made to think. If we all knew just how much power we possess, there would be a revolution. A revolution of minds, and we would no longer accept what is being fed to us subconsciously through all mediums. After feelings of inadequacy left my soul, I learnt that God is for the underdogs, He raises the low and He wants to see us successful and happy. A lot of the times we keep ourselves trapped within our own perceptions of who we are and what we can attain.
I hope that in 2017 I would allow myself to be happy. I typically hold my breath to happiness, and hope for everything and everyone to be perfect before I exhale. But life isn’t like that it seems, there are no absolute euphoric moments, and I think there would always be this imbalance until the Lord comes again. I realised from 2016 that life is hard, and perhaps everyone, both sinner and saint should be commended just for living, at the end of time. However, life is what you make it, and the universe is for you and not against you, so therefore 2017 would be a magical year if you will it to be. I have many hopes and goals for 2017, but my main intention is to be able to say at the end of it, “what a difference a year can make.”