I spent the day within the walls that first nurtured me, not a room, or the womb but the sheets of a book. The only four corners I know to be straight and not crooked. I read the lines that were orchestrated with love for someone like me in mind; someone seeking healing from a haven. I located my heart between the metaphors and similes, and I cried at how beautiful it was to be home again, to be restored, and to be found. I am here with half of myself; the other half is floating away. I’ve come to remind myself to always be lovely and not to let the world and her people turn me cold.
I start my days with a smile, thanking God for the new day. Sometimes I tell Him to take me back.
I practice affirmations like these in the mornings: I am a well, filled with blessings and good things, love, light and abundance. They’re friendly reminders that keep me sane throughout the day. It does get hard because people are so difficult to deal with. I think God has the hardest job of loving us all unconditionally. I think people are terrible beings by default and whenever they realise the power they have over another they abuse that power. Sometimes we want to hurt each other, even the people we love.
I sent my love out as a healing offering, but a friend returned it back, unrequited but opened and used. I know I am not an angel, but I try in all my friendships/relationships to bring a light and energy that I can only hope will be reciprocated. The relationship becomes lopsided when one person is giving more and the other is just taking, unaware of how draining they are. Everything is energy; it’s what we trade as humans before gold and coins. I am devoted to my spirit and owing to my happiness, so I actively work to protect my energy from takers who do not give. Sometimes that means removing people from your life if they are causing an imbalance and that isn’t selfish it’s self-love.